Archive for the 'funny' Category

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

December 20, 2008

Why I Love Christmas

December 11, 2007

by John Waters
(director of the original ‘Hairspray’, ‘Serial Mom’, ‘Pink Flamingos’ and ‘A Dirty Shame’)

“Being a traditionalist, I’m a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July I’m already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left. “What are you getting me for Christmas?” I carp to fellow bathers who haven’t even decided what to do for Labour Day. As each month follows, I grow more and more obsessed. Around October I startle complete strangers by bursting into my off-key rendition of “Joy to the World.” I’m always The Little Drummer Boy for Halloween, a grouchy one at that, since the inconsiderate stores haven’t even put up their Christmas decorations yet. November 1 kicks off the jubilee of consumerism, and I’m so riddled with the holidays season that the mere mention of a stocking stuffer sexually arouses me.”

It only gets better, so check it out HERE!

Religion.

August 6, 2007

“When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time!

But He loves you.”

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